Grief and loss can mean various things. It can mean a loved one passing away, it can be loss of a home/car/possession, it can mean loss of a job, loved ones incarceration.
Grief has a several stages and we all grief differently. The stages are not in a particular order. Some people can experience them in a different order, some can experience a stage for a long time, some do not experience one of the stages at all. The goal is that you eventually reach acceptance.
Stages
Denial - "This can't be happening." In this stage, individuals may refuse to accept the loss has occurred.
Anger - "Why is this happening to me?" You may become angry at yourself or others. You may feel the situation is unfair.
Guilt/Bargain- "I will do anything to change this situation"In bargaining, the individual may try to change their loss. For example, they may try to search for unlikely cures in the case of a terminal illness or feel that they could have done something to prevent it, when in reality they could not.
Depression - "What is the point of going on after this loss?"At this stage, the individual has come to recognize that loss has occurred. They may isolate themselves and spend time crying/grieving. They might not want to talk to anyone about it, be alone or away from others.
Acceptance - "It's going to be okay."Finally the individual will come to accept the loss. They understand the situation and have come to terms emotionally with the situation. This stage does not mean that the loved one is forgotten, but that the individual has now been able to properly grieve.
Grief has a several stages and we all grief differently. The stages are not in a particular order. Some people can experience them in a different order, some can experience a stage for a long time, some do not experience one of the stages at all. The goal is that you eventually reach acceptance.
Stages
Denial - "This can't be happening." In this stage, individuals may refuse to accept the loss has occurred.
Anger - "Why is this happening to me?" You may become angry at yourself or others. You may feel the situation is unfair.
Guilt/Bargain- "I will do anything to change this situation"In bargaining, the individual may try to change their loss. For example, they may try to search for unlikely cures in the case of a terminal illness or feel that they could have done something to prevent it, when in reality they could not.
Depression - "What is the point of going on after this loss?"At this stage, the individual has come to recognize that loss has occurred. They may isolate themselves and spend time crying/grieving. They might not want to talk to anyone about it, be alone or away from others.
Acceptance - "It's going to be okay."Finally the individual will come to accept the loss. They understand the situation and have come to terms emotionally with the situation. This stage does not mean that the loved one is forgotten, but that the individual has now been able to properly grieve.
Grief Symptoms
Grief symptoms also may be experienced different based on a persons age. Here are some common symptoms that a teenager might face:
Having difficulty concentrating
Becoming more active or restless
Becoming upset easily
Becoming afraid of loud noises
Having guilty feelings
Refusing to go to school
Experiencing headaches/nausea
Difficulty sleeping
Having nightmares, etc.
If you are experiencing symptoms that you feel are associated to grief and loss and are difficult to manage on your own, please see your counselor.
Having difficulty concentrating
Becoming more active or restless
Becoming upset easily
Becoming afraid of loud noises
Having guilty feelings
Refusing to go to school
Experiencing headaches/nausea
Difficulty sleeping
Having nightmares, etc.
If you are experiencing symptoms that you feel are associated to grief and loss and are difficult to manage on your own, please see your counselor.
Ways to Honor or Remember your Loved One
1. Keep something of theirs with youKeeping an item of sentimental value is a very personal way to remember someone dear. For example:
- Make a pillow or quilt out of their old shirts
- Keep an item that they loved or represents them
- Fundraise for something that they believed in, do a collection of items, raise money for research,
- Donate to a non profit that stands for their beliefs
- Plant a tree or flowers or make a garden
- Bring your community together and dedicate an event to your loved one’s memory.
- Establish a new tradition as a way to remember them. For instance, spreading love, paying it forward, going for a run as a group, etc.
- Share their photos and their stories
- Here is a suggestion to live your life to its fullest, as a tribute to the person you are missing:
